without will
i am changing
------------
can you hear the
tick tick tick
of our bodies
.....they are time bombs
threatening to end it all
no....not a threat
but a promise
--------------
i want it all
or more
or something i can sink my teeth into
something so real and thick
that i forget about death
for just a moment
but i cannot choose
between the life
i've made
and the life i dream of
a declaration that makes me feel:
•sad
•ungrateful
•privileged....to confess
and i am frozen
and i blame my old self
for making choices for the person i am today
for the person who no longer needs what she has
or wants what's in front of her
and as i type this
i feel my heart Chakra swell and ache
it hurts to grow
but i don't want to be small
