unnamed

her absolute un-coolness

and obsolete coolness

brought suitors forth like zombies from the grave

cold, clutching hands and 

hearts that won't actually beat for her

if only she knew it were this easy

she'd have stopped trying 

to live the uncomfortable lie

much sooner

-or maybe not-

maybe in the deep-down 

seeds of her core 

she used said "lie"

as a cover 

to deflect

 the raging undead 

who really only needed her

to be a mother 

to their broken parts

and even though she's a Fixer

not a Breaker

that kind of torment did not appeal 

to the timid hand in her heart

that lay palm open

begging for.....something.......more

maybe something more like the one

who reminded her of Cinnamon and Mitsouko

the same one who stepped aside

to open a space for her

so she might step out of her shadow cave

and into something brighter

and....all without trying

and....just by seeing her clearly

through the fog 

of 

everything else

out of darkness

seven sisters

coil the

magic

around my

yearning

heart

and

the moon

she watches

with a mother's eye

as her Star Seeds

drift apart

these

points

that shine

so hot

and bright

beckon

me into

their loving

light...

but

how do i know

they want

me near

how do I know

that home

is not

here

because....

she said so

If not now...

melt

drip

drizzle

blend...

the you of you

into the me of me

let your aura 

rub up against 

mine

penetrate my being 

with the things

that keep 

you 

from feeling whole

I will give them shelter

so that you
can let
go

let me hold on tightly

to the person you 

find so ugly 

within

this is the you

I need

to know

the place

I've always wanted 

to go

faded

today
I drove past the places 

where we used to dream

of being
 always a part of one another

those places where sun shone

even when our hearts 

were darkened and dusky

I saw those cracks

we used to slip into

where time slid like rain down glass

like you...into me

and places where our naivete

 still haunts with lovesick demons

and the shadowy yearnings

of things left undone

I touched 

wood and stone and glass that

still holds our salty tears

from a thousand years ago

and the milk from ancient wounds

 not fully sapped

I stood under trees
now wiser
with the same watchful branches
 still keeping our secrets

and ached with the stabbing throbs
of resurfaced memories
long ago buried

sometimes there's beauty in decay

sometimes

there's just decay

muffler

a

froth

coated

frown

lingers

on

your

faker

face

and

blood

stained

teeth

clamp

onto

lumber

jack

sleeves

never 

again

will 

your

saliva

enter

star

studded

palaces

or

monkey

butt

holes

or

reside

in

places 

where

random 

gaseous

orbs

do 

business

don't

try

and

lie

or

gainsay

your

way 

back

to 

yesterday

remember?

that's 

where

I

found

you

in

a 

puddle

of 

piss

lapping 

up

what 

you

thought

was

gin 

and

wearing

your 

grandmother's

pink

housecoat

Baked

this is

a 

different 

kind of
heat

a different
kind
of light

one that pours 

golden hot

butter 

from blue

sky

one that sizzles

over backs 

of 

legs 

and 

necks

like the melty

warm

electric 

glowy

haze

in that

place we

used to go

don't fight it

let it wash over

and 

under 

and 

in
through woven fibers

and then into nakedness

let it turn

our hair

into warm blankets

and

toast our flickering lashes 

 let it simmer and singe

and burn 

away 

the things

we don't care 

to think 

about

today

Elemental

peeled back

blades of green

lie 

dying on beds

of living

rust

what once

was soft

now crimped 

and 

crunched

under 

foot

and up there

the yellow ball

shines
so hard

that eyes must close

to see

and flesh
wagers death 

to feel 

the
sear

Dig

deep down

in striated 

layers

of browns

of bronze

of hazel wood

of feeling contained

of wanting more

.....of this

secure and preserved

the way acorns 

and 

truffles are

the way hearts

lie snug

beneath cages

of

bone

or

how time 

pressures carbon 

to dazzle

oppressive

depressor

warm

heavy

blanket

weighing down

into buttery 

sleep

into black 

slumbers

into the quiet

peace

of  

darkness

Many Moons

Warily

she tumbled

into folds

of

devilish smiles

and colorful

peals

of 

ha ha has

curious of 

looming thunder clouds

over heads

that should be happy

and sunshine on top of angry faces

she wondered

about things

like lace winged moths

and

ginger colored 

stones

the reanimation of 

frozen

blades

of grass

time loops

black holes

sugar cubes

52 shades of blue

why her nose

made whistling sounds 

when she breathed

she worried 

that the space

between two ears

would not be big enough

to carry 

as much 

as she wanted
it to

or that time
would not allow
for 

clocks to tick

or
moons
to cycle

long enough

to really really really

be ok

to someday let it all go

Autonomous

a star licked 

my palm

and I did not recoil

no

quite the opposite

I bent to it's bright

open 

mouth

and let myself in

no one knows

why

but I did

Woad

it's hard 

to balance

slivers of sunshine 

on your tongue

when all you really want

is to devour

the whole 

damn

thing

when eyes stare so hard

and 

burn so bright 

they cut 

like knives 

and

hearts sizzle

how bacon might

on a

summer rock

the color of the sky 

is in 

your face

heavy and full 

almost ripened moon

these things...

they are why I keep coming back

Peak

hot air 

dry skin

parched lips

empty 

cavernous

aching

hole

right here

yes

right here

the sky gave birth to the mountains

Bully

you say

look at me

look at me

look at me

I try but.....

your foot 

puts itself

into my chest

and presses

presses down hard

on the place where there used to be love

For Years

you know

in the time it took 

to scream her name

I already hated you 

for years

those words that

ooze from blistered lips

sting like salt 

on wounds 

and

she lets you come inside her

 me? I run 

as fast as minds can run 

while the head is standing still

she is weak because she stays

but strong 

because 

every day 

is 

a 

battle

that she won't

 run away 

from

Layers

no sanctuary
from distant memories
that haunt
and scratch
and tear
and rip 
and stomp on now

....and slap tomorrow across the face

a small pause

here 
and 
there

relief from "him" and "that" & "those things"

lungs filled
eyes shut

-no....nothing really helps-

unless I dream

to swing from branches
on starry nights

wind slapped limbs
move too fast to think

crying/laughing
face to the moon

honey pumps through veins
and
wildfire burns through ugly

swaddled so tight
in a blanket of black

I POP from my shell

windburned skin
falls 
in layers
like onions

Does it burn your eyes to see me change?

Harborless

In a different time

with lowered eyes

you turned away

from indecencies.

Maybe you didn't see?

You must have trusted...insanely

the hands

that fondled tiny parts.

With judgement clouded by ambition

you walked a

narrow

blind

path.

It lead you away from me.

Away from love.

Real love....anyway.

Eyes now heavy.

Too tired of the past

to hold grudges.

Too sick of then 

to let it creep into now ( but it does)

Too tired.

Too done.....with that.

Alchemy

A heart that beats too fast
A body
that freezes.
Fingers that.....tap 123.....123.....123.

Fear (Of nearly everything)
Anger (beCause it won't stop)
Disgust (that I can't control it)
Sadness (that I am trappeD)


Creation (because it's the only thing that makes me forget)

Day 1

A space to write poetry. 

Some old-some new.